An interview ‘bout men’s work w the male-identifying human who is running Evryman
I got an email telling me that Evryman was set to do an installment of their MELT retreat in October, and I got excited to promote it, which got me back into what a proponent I am of men’s work.
Back in 2015, I watched my friend Sascha co-create Evryman, and then watched as it transformed the men in my life in real ways. I’ve been a real fervent advocate since.
Thus my first ever interview, w my friend Lucas. These responses have been edited down, but links to videos featuring unedited responses are also included.
Me: In your words — why men’s work?
Lucas: First — I think men’s work is such a funny name. And not that it’s bad, but I just think it’s an ambiguous name for a very… it’s this generic term for a bunch of different modalities that have all kind of been mixed up and delivered in various ways, shapes, and form. I think of it more as human work or personal development or growth work that we do together as men, because it’s important for men to experience that. I just think sometimes that, even though that’s a very broad term, it can also be very limiting.
…but to your question — why men’s work? Because I think that the greatest untapped resource in the world is the love that is in men’s hearts. And I think that a lot of our struggle in our world today, if we look at the planet, our politics, our relationship with women, all of these things are being impacted at the hands of men. And I think that if men had a deeper ability to love, a deeper connection with themselves, deeper empathy, if we unlock that love, we could start to see real shift. Real shift in all aspects of our culture. And yeah, I just think that that will fundamentally change our world.
…want more? Click here to view the full response.
Me: How does this work have the impact that it does?
Lucas: I think a big part of it is the intentionality, setting aside space specifically to do this work, because I view this as an exercise. It’s no different than going to the gym. It’s like “Okay, I’m going to show up and I’m going to do this work.” I think that that is a really, really important piece of it. Then I also think that it is also important to have a very clear framework.
For the vast majority of men, they’re not going to default to a deeper, more connected, more vulnerable, more authentic way of being, right? Because so much of our life is spent in competition with other men and other people, whether consciously or subconsciously. When you actually create an intentional space that allows you to show up in a different way and be accepted and celebrated and acknowledged for that, it starts to allow you to practice this more authentic way of being, which is unequivocally more in alignment with who we are.
I find that it’s very hard to shut that door after you open it, because there’s more congruency between our head and our heart and everything that we feel inside when we get to show up and be that way. Once we start to practice that, we naturally carry that into our everyday lives.
Want more? Click here to view the full response.
Me: What does Evryman believe?
Lucas: We don’t have a definition for what it means to be a man and what masculinity is. Our fundamental belief is that every single man gets to decide that for himself. We obviously provide the space and the tools and the facilitations to explore that and arrive at that answer, but we don’t have that answer for you.
We also fundamentally believe that we don’t believe in gurus. We are a no guru, no hero worship organization. EVRYMAN is the zeitgeist for the guru, because the wisdom of every man, every single man has a different set of experiences, a different set of knowledge that innately gives him wisdom. And when we come together and each contribute that wisdom, we get to learn and grow from each other.
Want more? Click here to view the full response.
Wanna learn more? Watch this PROMO VIDEO.
+/or go to THIS RETREAT in OCTOBER.
+ wanna watch a video where Lucas talks thru how he went from corporate dude @ Comcast to leading a men’s [spiritual movement] — ? Click here.
