The case for feel’d [+ dating apps more broadly]

  • Move anything w a vibe from the app → text
  • If there’s a text vibe → move to a FaceTime
  • HAVE A FACETIME. Do not skip this step.
  • If the FT is a vibe → make a meet up plan
  • Meet the process w joy + fun (vs dread + fear)
  • They taught me to use my words
  • They taught me to speak my truth
  • They taught me to be clear on what I wanted
  • They taught me to say hard things
  • After the FaceTime, schedule a park (or some other open, public place) hang
  • If that’s a vibe, make another, separate plan to meet up for a sexual or sensual or dating encounter
  • Don’t be afraid to *go real slow*
  • ‘Do I want to further this convo w RopesKing; do I want him to come over and do I want to experience shibari? (Answer: not thus far)
  • ‘Am I judging myself as ‘boring’ if I’m attracted to this straight white dude who only wears suits?’ (Answer: no, but he’s slow to respond on text so whateverrrrrrr)
  • ‘Why do I X every dude who is primary partner’d? What am I avoiding, and what am I affirming?’ (Answer: I’m OK w the fact that I’m turned on by the possibility of ‘more’)
  • What values do you hold? Why those?
  • What do you want? How do you know?
  • What’s holding you ‘back’ — if anything? How do you know?



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Equanimity Equation

Equanimity Equation

Currently exploring at the intersection of experience design, community + inner work.